I still wanted him in my life, needed him, in the primal way you need food when you’re hungry, or a hand in the darkness when you’re scared. I felt a constant, low-flying desperation, the kind you feel when you are trying, trying, trying to get something you will never, ever get. Something that’s being withheld, just shy of your grasp. Maybe I didn’t know how to dislike someone I loved. Maybe I didn’t know how to love someone who kept causing so much pain.
(Source: creatingaquietmind)